Saturday, June 29, 2013

Happy Fijians

Fellow citizens ... Assalamu 'alaykum 

This week has been very busy with me standing in as DEPUTY PM.

Here I am at the Fiji Airways functions walking down the Red Carpet.

PM Bai was busy too saying goodbye to the troops he is sending to the killing heights in Golan, Syria.

He couldn't spend much time with the boys because he and Meraia were busy packing to go and see the other boys playing the rugby sevens in Russia.

They are taking PM Bai's favorite nephew Dan Gavidi to watch the rugby as a reward for being Fiji's best media censor.

I recall some months ago he was busy planning his trip to Russia but the Qorvis consultants said it wouldnt look very good if he was going to just watch the rugby so they suggested that they set up some meetings with Russian officials so the whole trip would look official then he could take whoever he wanted.

I of course agreed this would look much better holistically and suggested he should reward his most loyal Ministers with the trip to watch the rugby. I suggested this list as :

Director Immigration : Nemani Vuniwaqa 
Min for Youth & Sport : Vili Naupoto
Min for Defence :  Joketani Cokanasiga
Fiji Navy Commander : John Fox
Bainmarama's nephew : Dan Gavidi 
Bainmarama's wife : Meraia

Naupoto and Foxy tweeted me this picture yesterday from Russia.

I must recommend they see the dentist as soon as they get back as they look like they attended the same fight in the village - not a good diplomatic look.

I was also very busy this week lecturing my Special Administrators  specially appointed by me .

I had to make an example of those native administrators that were questioning my authority by sacking a few of them last week.

 Here I am with the latest line up of Fijian administrators.

And I must mention my presence as CHIEF GUEST in the red chair in my capacity as Deputy PM of course at the "Kaise Baat" function (see picture below).

Also in the interests of transparency and accountability, I have enabled all government emails to go through my office portal, and I discovered today some kakase emails which have concerned me greatly.

In particular, I have found that Sharon Johns from Ministry of Information is continuing her correspondence with Grehm Davis from Qorvis despite telling us that she has fallen out with him, so I will be having a discussion with her in the new week.

What is very insulting is a video that she has made starring our PM Bai, which I am going to have to inform him about.

I reproduce her obtuse email here you for all to see .

In the middle of all these happenings, FIJI TV have been pestering me for their license, so I have let them know they cannot push me around until I decide. Isoa Kaloumaira was the most annoying of the Board so I have told Padam that I want him gone. Insha Alla.

Have a nice weekend and make sure to cheer our boys in Golan Russia this weekend .

Sukria, Bahoot  Lomlom, namaste bin-binbinaka

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Power struggle is no big deal

Dearly beloved citizens

I am not in a good mood as I have been overwhelmed  for the past 2 weeks or so so my blog post will be very short.

June 5th, it started very well for me and my Gavoka wife and baby when we flew by helicopter to Tavarua to open the International Surfing Competition. I share this wonderful family picture with you.

My son looks just like me don't you think.

After this is when the trouble started and I had to take holistic action.

First I had to sack some Council administrators when staff phoned me to complain that they were acting like the boss for the Casino. Then when their Minister Sam Saumatua tried to interfere with my decision, I had to tell PM Bai to order him to resign as he was undermining my authority.

In addition, I had to assure PM Bai that his actions in ordering Fiji TV to sack their Sports Reporter for insulting PM's daughter Litiani were quite in order. I certainly did not see this as a problem - after all they are still waiting for me to grant them a license to operate, so I hope they will see the error of their ways soon.

The next disaster involved staff at the Elections office who were caught giving advice to the political parties. They had to be sacked for this was not part of their job description. In addition I have given the registrar for political parties Mohammed Saneem, strict instructions that he is to be vigilant about invalidating all political parties, so that PM Bai has a clear unopposed run in the upcoming snap elections to be announced.

Then of course other military ministers started to agitate PM Bai about me. I can tell you that they will be in trouble if they continue to do this. Insha Alla.

Clearly as I have revealed to PM Bai, he must be alert to this power struggle as there are many of his military men in key positions that want me out of Government.

Today Winston Peters has also decided to say something obtuse about me and about Fiji not having elections. He can say all he wants - after all is just a Maori native, and not a Fijian native like me.

Clapping for Golan
I was very busy today applauding the departure of our perilous men in green to the Golan.

This is a gratifying picture of the parade today with me in the VIP stand. My staff were hilariously complimentary and drew a halo around my head . Nice touch - someone will definitely get a promotion for their fine efforts.

I have just finished speaking to Geraldine from Radio Australia about that silly diplomat Green who took PM Bai's place at the rugby and got deported by PM as a result.  I dismissed her comments out of hand rather well I thought. Now I have to go to the Radio Station with PM Bai, as I am very busy serving the needs of our country.

If you have not heard already, there will be a  big announcement today at 6 pm by PM Bai about preying, so be sure to listen in. For myself, I will be going to my mosque to offer prayers for their souls in Syria. Insha Alla.

Sukria, Bahoot  Lomlom, namaste bin-binbinaka

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Head of the Group of Six

My fellow Fijians

I only have a short post this week as I have been very busy opening conferences and festivals, taking island cruises on new boats and welcoming new planes into Fiji with PM Bai.

As the Head of the Group of only six men who govern Fiji, you can imagine this is a very demanding job.

I had fun at a recent Vodafone sponsored function where I had the opportunity to wear my Gaddafi hat (pictured) , and I also made it across to Malolo island on their new Cat with my son from my wife Gavoka's daughter.

PM Bai has been busy in China where he regards the Premier as one of his new besties.

I have told him to go ask for money in his cheeky wei.

We need it to save face for the Raiwai project otherwise I might knock it all down and turn the site into a new mosque for pilgrims from Dubai visiting Raiwaqa's holy sites like Ed's Courts and Raiwai's own top grounds.

Not to mention the infrastructure for all their shopping needs will be met by the Gold Century Group Company (Fiji) Limited, who are miraculously going to turn Raiwai's famous 17-acre swampy mangrove area into a modern retail centre with professional office space and up-market residential flats for only $500 million.

All this of course is in line with my sought after holistic planning skills.

Next week I will let you know if our plans for a snap election in September of this year are going to go ahead as we have a few factors to consider .

Have a fantastic weekend.

Lomlom, namaste bin-binbinaka