Tuesday, May 21, 2013

In the name of Allah, most gracious and merciful, I take away, inhibit and bestow

Bismillah. Good citizens of Fiji

Now Sharon Johns Smith or whatever her name is from my Ministry of Information berated me last week  for mispronouncing PM Bai's name in the YouTube videos that she, Graham Davis and Qorvis have been busy putting out over the internet.

Sharon and Grubbzi at QORVIS fancy dress party
She says I pronounce it "Beinimarama", which she means we have to shoot the videos all over again as PM might beitaka. But I don't think so as its quite a pathetic number that have even bothered to look at my YouTube episodes as it is.

Her days are quite frankly numbered. Insha Alla.

Notwithstanding now to a number of urgent national housekeeping issues no doubt you will be anxious to hear.


I am in the process of finalising this project. Because there is a lot of noise about i-Taukei land, I intend to bring back some of the original protections, which we (Bai and I) removed in the first place.

Of course this will endear us in the eyes of the people who will think we are heroes for enshrining protection in the constifusion.

Mind games of course , which I am the master of.

And then of course, after everyone approves it , we can remove it anytime we want as our parliament will be all handpicked by us - thats if we decide to get THAT far along - holistically speaking.


We have spent many years now trying to manage the economy. Now because Australia, New Zealand and Samoa have caused wide spread unemployment in our country (as well as close down bridges and cause all our pot holes). This has understandably caused some disgruntlement in the country.

To ensure that despite these difficulties , PM Bai's men gets the majority vote, I have directed PM and his soldiers, and Jyoti from the Fiji Sun to go around Fiji and give out loads of gifts to many rural villages across Fiji (special mention in Cakaudrove), which have included the following :
Me and the Happy Clappy Fijians bending to our tune

Knowing the natives like I do of course means that they will now bow and bend in the breeze to PM Bai's tune, and they will think he is just amazing - the people's miracle!

They are so shallow.

Bai is indeed Fiji's NEW PARAMOUNT CHIEF. Insha Alla.

In the end this is the key to getting PM Bai and I voted into Government as the people's representatives for Fiji. This will then legitimize us in the eyes of the world.


Undermining the Vanua and the Lotu is what we have successfully concentrated on in the last 6 years of our reign . This of course has divided the people and the provinces. Chiefs and commoners are all arguing, and even better they have even set up separate political parties AGAIN ! They will never learn.

Now we are taking aim at our last hurdle.

Continuing on our divide and rule strategy, we are going to buy people's allegiences by giving back what we have been taking away in stages in the first place.

THINGS LIKE : economic growth, job creation, access to education, electricity, water, housing, and sanitation.

All these things we are now bestowing back to you and pronouncing as rights.

Other things to think about that we are giving back (for which you will be so grateful)  :
  • political parties
  • freedom to associate
  • media freedoms
  • women's rights
  • youth rights
  • FNPF funds and investments
  • the opportunities to 'participate' once again in democratic processes, sit on advisory boards again, apply to be in the 'Senate', in 'Parliament', the GCC (maybe) etc. etc.Na’uzhu-bi-Allah.
Because we have ruled Fiji for so  long now, most people now think we are indispensable, and  irreplaceable.

We have created many problems for Fiji that only WE can resolve.

Remember In the name of Allah, most gracious and merciful, I take away, inhibit and bestow. With me and PM Bai in control I can assure you, good natives of Fiji, you are all protected from race, women , old politicians and the Methodists. Insha Alla.

Have a fantastic weekend.

Lomlom, namaste bin-binbinaka


Comments are required to be holistic and genuine in taking Fiji forward on the holistic roadmap to partnered democracy with myself, Riaz and Bai.